All at Sea

All at Sea The thing to remember about this story is that every word is true If I never told it to a soul and this book did not exist it would not cease to be true I don t mind at all if you forget this The im

  • Title: All at Sea
  • Author: Decca Aitkenhead
  • ISBN: 9780008142162
  • Page: 489
  • Format: Paperback
  • The thing to remember about this story is that every word is true If I never told it to a soul, and this book did not exist, it would not cease to be true I don t mind at all if you forget this.The important thing is that I don t On a hot still morning on a beautiful beach in Jamaica, Decca Aitkenhead s life changed for ever.Her four year old boy was paddling peacefull The thing to remember about this story is that every word is true If I never told it to a soul, and this book did not exist, it would not cease to be true I don t mind at all if you forget this.The important thing is that I don t On a hot still morning on a beautiful beach in Jamaica, Decca Aitkenhead s life changed for ever.Her four year old boy was paddling peacefully at the water s edge when a wave pulled him out to sea Her partner, Tony, swam out and saved their son s life then drowned before her eyes.When Decca and Tony first met a decade earlier, they became the most improbable couple in London She was an award winning Guardian journalist, famous for interviewing leading politicians He was a dreadlocked criminal with a history of drug dealing and violence No one thought the romance would last, but it did Until the tide swept Tony away, plunging Decca into the dark chasm of random tragedy.Exploring race and redemption, privilege and prejudice, ALL AT SEA is a remarkable story of love and loss, of how one couple changed each other s lives and of what a sudden death can do to the people who survive.

    One thought on “All at Sea”

    1. "I am a total amateur at feeling sad, and have no idea how to control the constant flashbacks in my mind to the beach and Tony's body. Sometimes the flashbacks aren't even true; I keep picturing myself pulling Jake unconscious from the water, frantically trying to revive him, and I am pitched into hysterical panic over something that did not happen". "My family organized a system of bereavement and which anything as chaotic as anguish could be reasoned away. We help ourselves together, congratul [...]

    2. I really commend Aitkenhead for her honesty and vulnerability in writing this. She doesn't try and paint herself in the best light, and while that could be off-putting to some, I respect her for not trying to hide unsavory details for appearance's sake. I found the most interesting aspects of this memoir to be about her relationship with Tony, about how they didn't fit into the conventional stereotype of a romantic relationship, and everything that came before the tragic moment that starts the b [...]

    3. This is a backlist title from my Book of the Month stash. This is about when a man named Tony drowns in Jamaica after saving his son. Tony and Decca aren't the most likeable characters, but the capture of grief had me nodding my head a lot, particularly navigating the behaviors of other people surrounding the bereaved. 3.5 stars.

    4. In All at Sea, Decca Aitkenhead, a well-known, award-winning Guardian journalist, has written a memoir of the tragic drowning of her partner, Tony Wilkinson, while vacationing with their two young sons in Jamaica. She appears to be completely honest and open about their rather messy lives: how they met while married to others, how Tony's drug/gangster lifestyle nearly ended their affair, and how he turned his life around to be with her. Now she is coping with the aftermath of the media-publicize [...]

    5. DNF. I've had a really hard time with this review. I'm not sure how to tell someone that I was put off by her life story, especially when it is tinged with so much tragedy. I know these are real people, and this is the author's real pain, and she really lost her husband and their children witnessed the loss of their father. I find those bare facts to be devastating. Butwhen the details are filled in I find I'm less and less capable of sympathy. I'm not very fond of the woman narrating the story. [...]

    6. In May 2014, Aitkenhead, a Guardian writer, was on holiday with her partner Tony Wilkinson and their two young sons in Jamaica. A beautiful sunny morning turned disastrous when Tony swam out to rescue their son Jake. He was able to pass the boy off safely, but then got sucked into the undercurrent and drowned. After the tragic events of the first chapter, this wrenching memoir retreats to consider the 10 years she and Tony (a former criminal and crack addict) spent as “the most implausible cou [...]

    7. This is the first giveaway I have received, and I wish I could say I enjoyed it, but I didn't. While it is at times a touching tribute, I am put off by her skewed sense of entitlement, and dislike her more and more as the book goes on. This surprised me, but it is honestly how I felt.

    8. One of the best memoirs I've read. I love Aitkenhead's writing style. What an open, honest, and inspirational story of a young widow's life in the aftermath of life-altering loss. Highly highly recommended.

    9. First, let me say that despite the terrible tragedy recounted in this book, I did not cry. Tuesdays with Morrie? Sobbed uncontrollably. Marley and Me: Life and Love With the World's Worst Dog? There weren't enough Kleenex in the house. While the events in this story are undeniably heart-wrenching, some how I wouldn't describe this as a sad story.This memoir is an unflinchingly honest, yet gentle and tender examination of the grief Aitkenhead experiences after she watches the love of her life, To [...]

    10. An honest, clear-eyed memoir of the intricacies of dealing with sudden loss. No sentimental heartstring-tugging here. Aitkenhead pays homage to the life of her partner and works through her grief in the nine months following his death.

    11. An astonishingly honest and clear-eyed portrait of grief, Aitkenhead is clearly not angling here for sympathy, but rather recording her story for posterity (her children) as well as society. Not at all self-indulgent or melodramatic, this is one of the finest renderings I have read that covers the range of both emotion and numbness that follows in the wake of trauma. Heart-breaking but also full of hope. I'd love to read another memoir a few years from now to see how she and her family have surv [...]

    12. This was not an easy book to read, and I almost put it down several times. It’s a tragic memoir written by a journalist living in the UK. She and her life partner,Tony, have two young sons together. Tony drowns while trying to save their drowning 4 year old son. The child lives, the father dies. Decca Aitkenhead is forced to begin dealing with heart-wrenching grief. As the book unfolds, we learn of Tony’s secret drug addition and criminal background. This was shocking; however, it’s not my [...]

    13. Finished this book over a week ago and still thinking about the tragedy of losing Tony. Decca has written a beautiful story about tragic events that took place during a family vacation, a serene and well loved travel destination. It's beyond heartbreaking but also full of light. I think Tony would be immensely proud of the story Dec shared with the world.*I won a copy of this book through KEEP TURNING PAGES group. Many thanks to Doubleday and the fantastic members of KEEP TURNING PAGES for shar [...]

    14. I received this from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. This is a very gritty, raw, and no holds barred memoir. Unputdownable! Their relationship was certainly unconventional and their very tragic, but you cannot help but to read every single word and believe the love she had for Tony. It was quite unexpected but I'm glad I was asked to read it.

    15. "After everyone has gone home in the silence it strikes me that having witnessed both birth and death, I know which one taught me the meaning of life."

    16. As the blurb reads :In May 2014, on a hot still morning on a beautiful beach in Jamaica, Decca Aikenhead’s life changed irrevocably. First her four year old son Jake, pootling by the water’s edge in his pyjamas, was dragged out to sea on a riptide. Then Tony, her partner and Jake’s father, dived in to save him, but drowned in the process.Tony – a Northern, mixed race former prisoner, drug dealer and crack addict – “Black” and “Decca” – a prize-winning Guardian journalist from [...]

    17. Where to start!? Great story line, full of grief. Chapters DRAGGED on tho and by the end of each chapter I was like "I get the message I don't need 10 more pages till the next chapter!" I would recommend this to anyone who has a lot of free time. School kinda interrupted this for me, still enjoyed it tho!

    18. Shakespearean in scope, this memoir will puncture every belief you have regarding love, race, and loss. The prose is beautiful.

    19. This short book is full of beautiful prose and a refreshingly honest snapshot of raw grief and loss. I think it would be helpful for those who have experienced loss (to not feel so alone with the wild emotions and thoughts) as well as those who haven't yet experienced loss (someone you know has).

    20. Losing someone dear to you, especially when it happens suddenly, is devastating. I can't imagine how much worse it must be when you see it happen and feel utterly powerless to prevent it from happening. Aitkenhead is on vacation in Jamaica with her partner Tony and their two small boys when Jake begins to flounder in the water. Tony rushes in to save him, but ends up drowning himself, in front of Aitkenhead, their sons, and several of their friends. What follows is an account of who Tony had bee [...]

    21. The more I think about this book the more extraordinary I think it is. Aitkenhead writes in a manner as if time slowed down for many months (which I imagine it did) to the point that she can describe every detail around her and in her head, every revelation, every time she witnesses herself seeing or understanding something new. She doesn't hide dark or ugly thoughts that many would judge her for (and many reviewers here seem to do exactly that). I was most intrigued at the times when she reveal [...]

    22. 2.75 starsI wanted to like this story but I got lost in her grief. I do enjoy reading memoirs so it’s not that I went into this not knowing what to expect per se’. I thought there would be a story and I feel let down that I didn’t get more. I don’t know, maybe if the story had been told in a different order I would have felt more. I feel like starting with the tragedy I didn’t have time to connect with anyone in the story. Had I been given the backstories and such first I think I would [...]

    23. A family is vacationing in Jamaca when tragedy strikes, their four-year-old son paddling peacefully at the waters edge gets sucked out to sea. Decca unsure of what she is seeing can't believe her eyes when she does finally realize that it is her son in the water her spouse Tony swims out to save him as Decca is running to the waters edge and just when she thinks everything is fine she realizes that Tony is struggling to make it back to shore she swims out to retrieve her child managing to swim b [...]

    24. A memoir about the unexpected death of one’s partner and the resultant grief and loss is not an easy book to read. Yet in Decca Aitkenhead’s powerful memoir the reader gains a deeply emotional understanding of the effects of such a loss. Because of Aitkenhead’s journalistic skills she excels in portraying both the intimate details of her family life and the commonalities of those who experience this kind of horrific and totally unanticipated loss. As she contemplates an entirely new and un [...]

    25. While memoirs are usually not my thing I'm glad I read this one. It hits you right in the feels from the get go. I'm just not sure I felt it through the whole book. I give Decca Aitkenhead props for putting her life out there in a well written book. What a great honor to Tony to share your story. I'm left feeling a little emotionally drained ( which is probably why I don't usually read memoirs)Thank you giveaway for an opportunity to review this book. Prayers to allInvolved in this tragedy Ton [...]

    26. Decca Aitkenhead describes herself as the kind of person who has always controlled her feelings to the point where they're difficult to even find. I very much relate to that, but I suspect that may also be what my issue with this book was.All at Sea is written in sentences that are beautiful at times, but the overall story isn't engaging or even interesting. It's at its best when describing the start of her relationship with Tony and his untimely death, but it devolves from there and some parts [...]

    27. Memoirs are usually not my thing but I'm glad I read this one. It hits you right in the feels from the get go. I'm just not sure I felt it through the whole book. I give Decca Aitkenhead props at putting her story and life out there in a well written book. I feel emotionally drain ( which is probably why I don't read many memoirs). Such a tragedy for all involved but what a beautiful way to honor Tony's memory. Thank you giveaway for an opportunity to read and review. Prayers to all involved. R [...]

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